I'm very thankful for a whole lot of things in my life. Things now, things in my past, things in my life growing up...
But I'm also a little angry about some things. I grew up in the middle of a world, a country, a people, very consumed by some things, ideas, and practices that I'm not proud of. And it seems it has only gotten more intense as I've gotten older.
We like to have money. But we don't keep it long. We like to spend it too much. And when we don't have it? Spend it anyway. We like to have nice, new things. We like our things to look good. Even when the things we had before were still functioning fine. But if newer and better is out there, we like to make that happen for ourselves.
We fill up our houses that we will be paying for the rest of our lives with stuff that we're still paying for too. Half of that stuff we never see because it's locked away in a closet or the attic. Some of it we see once a year, like at Christmas time when the entire decor of our houses changes to red and green and lights and stars. Celebrating the birth of Jesus, of course. Who probably would thoroughly enjoy our decorations, our unusually large amount of electricity use, our uprooted trees that will soon be thrown away, our expensive new toys and clothes and other presents that will only keep us happy for a very short amount of time, and our impatience with family members and friends that we would rather not have to spend so much time with. Right?
We base our success levels on how high up our jobs are and how much money we make, while time spent with family and friends and resting and doing things we love get pushed aside. We are so caught up in the need to feed our longing for stuff that we neglect teaching our own kids and instead pay for strangers to raise them and teach them all the things they need to know.
We go to church sometimes and feel better about ourselves. But we forget that "going to church" is something we made up a long time ago, and will never do anything for our souls. Being the church, reaching out to the needs of the world, loving people unconditionally, and showing them the God who loves them, can never be accomplished by going to church. We ask God for things when we need it, but when there are hurting people around us and across the world from us who need things, we're too attached to all that we have to realize that God needs us to meet their needs. Some of us who really care about our kids knowing God expect them to learn it all in an hour a week during Sunday school instead of teaching them about him in our homes, families, and everyday lives.
We think community is a place where we live next to neighbors we never see or talk to and don't have time to get to know them anyway. We prefer to have our busy schedules that keep us living the extravagant lives we like instead of having real relationships with people that require time and effort and sacrifice and yield more back to us than anything else can. We involve our kids in all kinds of activities from a young age so that they can be the best at something when they get older and feel some sort of worth and make a living and be respected... instead of teaching them how to be a kind, honorable, compassionate, generous, humble, loving person.
We buy things from and work for companies that care about little more than profit. Whose CEO's make more in an hour than their sweatshop workers across the world will make in 10 years. Who rob the earth's resources with no concern for the consequences now, tomorrow, for themselves, or anyone else.
We trash this beautiful earth God created for us to take care of, fill up landfills with the things we got tired of, the stuff that workers slaved to make for their companies, wasted food that could feed the thousands of people who starve to death every day, pollute the air and water and then create medical fixes for our tortured lungs and bodies, eat things that were never meant to be put in our bodies and take all kinds of medicines when we don't feel good.
We have no idea what it means to love our neighbors, much less our enemies! We'd rather bomb them and get rid of them so we never have enemies to worry about loving. We're arrogant enough to think we have some right to the country we were born in and want to kick out anyone who was born in a different country, even if they're just trying to feed their family. We can be paid enough to say or do anything. We think our government owes us something so we vote for the things that will benefit us most. We have no idea what humility means and cling to our pride and everything that puffs it up. We'dmuch rather see someone else hurt or embarrassed than admit out wrong or apologize for our own reproach.
I'm angry that I grew up in a world like that. And I'm even more angry that I've been a part of it.
God, save us from ourselves! We've forgotten you and your ways and all that is Good. Remind us, whatever it takes. Bring us to rock bottom if that's the only way we will come back to you and learn your ways again. And forgive us for the people we've hurt, the times we've hurt ourselves, our contempt of your creation, our selfishness and pride, our unwillingness to let go of our own way and see instead how good your way is.
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